Pick a lane - I'll guess the rest.

On returning from the Vet's this morning, Moose (the cat) and I entered the roundabout at Shakbout and Delma Streets.

We (Moose and I) were in the middle lane of the three and indicating to turn left. There was a silver Camry in the inside lane also waiting but as they were to my left, I couldn't see any indicators.

In a break in the traffic, my feline companion and I (still indicating) entered the intersection and proceeded - while staying in our lane - to follow the roundabout around to the left.

The Camry decided to accelerate hard and *almost* t- boned me as I was turning, as it was trying to go straight, from the inside lane.

MY understanding of multi lane roundabouts is this.

Left lane MUST turn left
Middle lane can go straight or Left but not right.
Right lane can go straight but must be used to turn right.
The only time the inside lane would merge to the middle lane is to complete the execution of a turn. In which case they must give way or at least work with the existing traffic in the roundabout.

Now - I figured that the the driver was angling for a passing manoeuvre,  and while I did follow my line I was mindful of the potential for catastrophe and eased over a little to avoid collision and went on my way.

The Camry driver hesitated then came after me.

Honking like a mad thing he slid into the inside lane at the next roundabout along Delma, so that his rear seated passengers could wind down the window and give me a spray.

It would be fair to say a larger bearded bald white guy frowning back at them as my slightly tinted window slid down was not what they expected. In fact the driver (who was following orders from the screaming harpy in the back seat) really only put  a show of hand waving, and really looked like he would rather not engage in the discussion. Actually he looked like he just wanted to go somewhere, anywhere, and get a cup of tea... if that somewhere was anywhere but staring up at a guy he nearly ran into - particularly as said guy was looking at him like he was lunch.

The rear seated passenger however - and her maid - let fly.

My Arabic is limited (but coming along) so I mentioned - in Arabic - that I didn't understand, then mumbled a few words that in hindsight were the numbers 1 and maybe 15, and that I'd like a non smoking seat  next to a window.

Not seeing the conversation going any further - and unable to judge her facial expression I tootled off.

I'm now just waiting for the knock at the door.

Look out for tomorrow's paper.

"Australian requests window seat. Gets Jail. Cell mate 'Bubba' a big fan."


  1. As always, very amusing. The only thing which surprises me about this story is the fact that, in Abu Dhabi, it was a Camry and not an AMG Mercedes involved.

  2. Indeed!

    There would be no story if it were an AMG though... they tend to enter intersections like low flying missiles, thus not allowing the comparatively snail like speed of a JEEP to ruin their day... or their coffee... or their ability to text...

  3. I have to agree with the person who said they hated the person who invented roundabouts. The amount of the damned things we have in Mornington now is ridiculous.

    We desperately need someone with a brain to put in traffic lights, instead.

  4. Holly Black18:09

    Finally! Not so long between posts! One would think that you had a life or something over there ;-)

  5. Hah!

    International man of mystery I am...


  6. Balagan18:09

    I always find that if a local starts shouting at me then singing the middle bit of Bohemian Rhapsody (scaramouch) at them like a mental works wonders.

    They normally give up and drive off by the time you reach the Galileo bit.

  7. HAH! That is so crazy it just might work.

    Adding it to my toolkit as we speak

    (thanks for posting)

  8. Yes yes yes...this experience is all too I weave my way through the battlefield that is the UK road system.

    I am sure that people think that the roundabout is really a roller derby for grown ups in big machines and its purpose is to allow 'derby-ists' to make up the rules as they go along...

  9. It says a lot for the road system here that I find driving in the UK quite restful... dear lord.. what't happening to meeeee!

  10. Susan18:11

    The rule for the roundabouts is that there is no rule. In theory, yes, as you explained it, that would be what happened. Instead, it's often who gets out ahead first has the right of way.

  11. Ah.. the old "it's not a problem until it's a problem" gambit!

    Perfect, and I feel even more relaxed as I was DEFINITELY in the roundabout first.

    But then I didn't have backseat passengers slapping me on the back of the head.

    Thanks for commenting!

  12. Sounds like just another drive in the UAE! ;-)

    And yes, roundabouts must die. Dreadful things, especially around here!

  13. Indeed Daddybird... what we need is a bunch of guys waving flags and directing traffic...

    That's a plan that could never go wrong!


Andrew Webber is a writer, living in Abu Dhabi with his wife, two cats and two dogs.

His first book "Erasure" was published in June 2012 and was followed in 2013 by the Prequel to Erasure, "Broken".

In 2016 Erasure was a prize winner in the Montegrappa Writing Prize - part of the Emirates Airlines Festival of Literature.

For more information click the "Erasure" book cover on the left side of this site, or simply go to

Thanks for visiting.